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Grrrr… I am frustrated. Like an able bodied seaman on leave In a womanless port
I’m being pressured To reach within to find my Shpadoinkla song…
I’ve gone crazy! All words snow-balling into A massive introduction to nothing!
Brilliant lines are fantastic But none are adhesive enough
My words run screaming to A vanishing point beyond The locked cellar door…
The poems written Around me all sound so Wondrously dirty, but not mine. - Renee Koehn |
Stupid Me
That glittering tramp, The electronic whore, The ultimate insult, And the worst excuse! No, I do not fear another woman, I have lost you all the same.
She pulled you in, Dragged you away, Drugged your mind, And stole your attention.
It hurts me to realize… Shames me to see… Causes me to feel guilty… I feel horribly rejected. Why? Because I’ve lost you to the TV.
Is it that I’m not appealing? Do I bleed? Am I not real?
No, I suppose I am not. I am a forgotten memory, A lost photograph, A worthless dream.
Why the tears? Why the pain? Why bother asking me… I am tired. I hurt. No, I don’t want to talk to you. Not now, it’s not worth it. You’ll say it’s dumb. That I’m making a big deal out of nothing.
Perhaps you should have asked me before… Before you hung up the last time.
What was it this time? American Idol, a random film, JackAss, South Park, Or did you just not want to talk to me? It’s alright…I’ll just have to understand… I have to be like that after all, It’s such a little thing…
I was beaten by the TV.
With as often as it happens I do wonder… Is it because of the thousands of miles? Is that what makes me less real? Am I as unattractive as I think? It doesn’t matter what you say now… Is it that I am boring over the phone? Will this happen once we’re really together?
Beaten by the…
I’m not a jealous woman. Not really…but I am insecure. I’m really very lonely and well…
It hurts to think you, Of all people, would rather watch a screen, A flickering image that isn’t real, Than talk to me for an hour or two…
Beaten… I have a tender spot, In the center of my ribs. It pinches me every so often. It only happens when I realize this, I love you. I miss you. I would toss away damn near anything for you…
Here I sit tapping my hurt, My anxiety, and insecurity in an Attempt to calm my aching emotions, why?
Because I fear I am defeated by the TV.
- Renee Koehn |